Sleep When the Baby Sleeps. Easier Said Than Done.

“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Every new parent has heard this advice. I've even given this advice myself. Unfortunately, that was not my reality. Maybe it isn't yours either.

So how do you get rest when you're exhausted?

For me, the truth is that I didn't. I slept when I could and adjusted to my new normal. And it wasn't easy.

I LOVED getting a full night's sleep before my daughter was born. Even when I was pregnant, I was blessed not to have to get up multiple times during the night for bathroom runs. So not getting sleep was hard, but I did adjust.

Adjusting meant realizing that this would not last forever. She would only be small for a season.

It also meant learning to give myself permission to rest without necessarily sleeping. Sometimes that meant sitting down, leaving something undone around the house, or simply enjoying a few quiet moments while she slept.

As a newborn care provider, I knew that frequent waking was normal. Newborns wake often to feed because their bodies are growing and developing. But knowing this professionally and experiencing it as a mother were two different things.

Little did I know that my daughter's nighttime waking would last for years!

I don't say that to discourage you. Every child is different. I've heard of babies who leave the hospital and sleep through the night. If this happens to be the case for you, please check with your baby's healthcare provider to make sure your baby doesn't still need those additional feedings for growth and development.

One thing I would encourage new parents to do is accept support when it's available. If someone you trust can care for your baby while you get some uninterrupted rest, take that opportunity. Sometimes even a short period of rest can make a difference.

And remember, everything doesn't have to get done today. The dishes, laundry, and other responsibilities will still be there. Adjusting to life with a newborn means learning what needs your attention right now and what can wait.

I'm happy to report that I'm back to getting a full night's sleep, uninterrupted, most nights. However, there are still nights when my daughter is sick or wakes up for one reason or another. That's part of motherhood, too.

Looking back, I realize that adjusting wasn't just about learning to function with less sleep. It was about learning to embrace a new season of life, even when it looked different from what I expected.

So, would I still tell a new mother to sleep when her baby sleeps?

Probably not in the same way. I would tell her to sleep when the baby sleeps if she can. And if she can't, rest when she can, give herself grace, and remember that this season won't last forever.